The Election’s Over…Move Along Now

May 3rd, 2011 · 9 Comments · Weird Landlord News

5678709462 1fd9270012 The Elections Over...Move Along Now
cc The Elections Over...Move Along Now photo credit: *_*

I’ve always wondered what our politicians would do if no one at all showed up to vote.

Conservative -0

Liberal – 0

NDP – 0

Green – 0

Bloc Quebecois -0

Would anything change? Politicians just do what they usually do. Come in late, meet for an early but long lunch, have an extra long coffee break to make up for all their hard work and then drag themselves home after an exhausting day of slaving for the Canadian people. Whew, I got tired just writing about it.

Next after their grueling work schedule of 130 days per year, our MP’s must rest, some even feel a need for massages. What?…wouldn’t you be sore after taking care of all that important business?

Conservatives Are In…

Stephen Harper has finally got a majority government. This should be about as exciting as watching paint dry. He’s for lower taxes and small government and all that great stuff so I guess all the MP’s will be striking this year as they face pay cuts and a work schedule similar to everyone else’s.

Why does Harper have to look like every accountant I’ve ever known?

Green Party Got One MP

For the first time in Canadian history a Green Party MP gets into the House of Commons. She’ll save money by watering all the plants in her office all by herself. I wonder if you’re allowed to smoke medicinal marijuana in Ottawa?

NDP Is The Official Opposition

In a majority government the NDP gets to do nothing except keep their seats warm and mouth off loudly whenever the Conservatives want to pass legislation. Then the Conservatives vote and win for the next 4 years or so. Sounds like fun!

Liberals

Whatever you are doing, you need to stop because people hate you. You just got spanked big time. Try again later.

Bloc Quebecois

The entire party is an  oxymoron. We don’t want to be part of your country so we’ve elected all these representatives to join the government that we don’t want to be a part of. Bad idea, and now it’s finally dead. Or not dead.

It isn’t that Quebec can’t be its own country, of course they can. Liechtenstein is a country for God’s sake and it’s 160 square kilometers and 35,000 people.

The problem is every time Quebecers talk about becoming a country it hurts their economy. Companies are unlikely to set up operations there as they wait for the Great Canadian Civil War.

What’s Comes Next?

The Conservatives wrote down some stuff they want to do for us. Am I the only one who notices that politicians and astrologists seem to use the same kind of phrasing?

Rejoice, It’s over folks. Nothing to see here…

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9 Comments so far ↓

  • Financial Uproar

    This cracked me up. Nicely done Rachelle.

  • me

    stick to what you know… obviously, politics is not your forte.

  • Charles

    I like your take on political life but you should stay with property management I think it is easier.

  • Sue

    Ha, ha, ha….I read your post after receiving a link to your blog from B-List Marketing.

    Your post cracked me up and I have no idea who you are talking about. Wish you’d profile our mad Australian political parties. Your sense of humour would definitely make you popular around here. Aussies love to ‘pay out’ as we put it ;)

    S

    • Rachelle

      Yeah Aussies and Canadians have a similar wit, I love yours as well. We have a lot in common except Aussies go around saying Oh My God It’s so hot! and Canadians go around saying Oh My God It’s so cold!

  • cybermagnetik

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